Recommendations

Books:

Screw the Roses, Send me the thorns by Phillip Miller and Molly Devon.
Factual beginner’s look at BDSM.

Secrets of Better Sex by Joel D. Block.
Ways to spice up your sex life, psychology behind slumps, suggestions for dying relationships…this book has it all!

Films:

Blue Velvet (1986) directed by David Lynch.
After finding a severed human ear in a field, a young man soon discovers a sinister underworld lying just beneath his idyllic suburban home town.

Crash (1996) directed by David Cronenberg.
After getting into a serious car accident, a TV director discovers an underground sub-culture of scarred, omnisexual car-crash victims who use car accidents and the raw sexual energy they produce to try to rejuvenate his sex life with his wife.

Eyes Wide Shut (1999) directed by Stanley Kubrick.
A New York City doctor, who is married to an art curator, pushes himself on a harrowing and dangerous night-long odyssey of sexual and moral discovery after his wife admits that she once almost cheated on him.

Secretary (2002) directed by Steven Shainberg.
A young woman, recently released from a mental hospital, gets a job as a secretary to a demanding lawyer, where their employer-employee relationship turns into a sexual, sadomasochistic one.

Sex, Lies and Videotape (1989) directed by David Cronenberg.
A sexually repressed woman’s husband is having an affair with her sister. The arrival of a visitor with a rather unusual fetish changes everything.

Anime:

Nana to Kaoru written by Amazume Ryuta and animated by AIC Plus+.
Two teenagers (18) begin to try out S&M due to an accident with leather gear. The manga is better. The anime-version only shows the sexual side.

MM! written by Akinari Matsuno and animated by XEBEC.
More of a comedy than anything. A guy who is a masochist wants to cure his masochism. A sadist takes on the job. Hilarity ensues.

Otoko no Ko Ojou-sama animated by Chichinoya.
Basically just porn. A boy is made to dress up like a girl/etc for his mistress.

Manga:

Nana to Kaoru by Amazume Ryuta.
The manga that really sparked my interest in S&M. Two teenagers (18) begin to try out S&M due to an accident with leather gear. Explores the emotional/play side of S&M without sex.

Nana to Kaoru Black Label by Amazume Ryuta.
Side story about their summer holiday.

Kanojo wa Kannou Shousetsuka by Goto Akira.
A guy becomes an editor for a famous S&M writer he admires. She is very hands-on with research.

Nozoki Ana by Honna Wakou.
A guy ends up part of an exhibitionism/voyeurism contract with the girl who lives next door via a hole in the wall.