Review: Loving Joy Breast Wonder Pump
Rating: ★★☆☆☆ 2/5
“I just can’t seem to fully get along with products made by Loving Joy. Some of the things I’ve disliked are due to issues on my end but I just can’t seem to get a good feeling from the company. I don’t know why that is, since everyone else seems to really like them – perhaps it is just me. In any case, here is my review for their Breast Wonder Pump, which sextoys.co.uk kindly sent me to test.
I’m not going to sugar-coat this: I absolutely hate the packaging of this product. The model on the box looks disgusting and fake – her fat lips and huge breasts make me feel both uncomfortable and untrusting every time I look at it. Surely it is plastic surgery? If so, what does this say about the usefulness of the product itself? It certainly doesn’t say ‘I work!’ to me.
For some reason she’s also wearing a wedding band which I can’t decide on whether it is a marketing ploy or the model’s own. Either way, it pisses me off. What message is this trying to get out to people? “I’m married because I have massive breasts?”
If I saw this product in a shop I simply would not buy it, based on the packaging alone. Hell, I wouldn’t even buy it online if I saw the packaging design. I feel sleazy every time I look at it and that is not what I want from packaging. I desire to look at packaging and feel interested in the product as well as curious about how sexy it would make me, not turned off and ashamed.
The messages on the side of the box annoy me too. “it really works!” is one of the least convincing things I’ve read on a product in my life. In my experience, it is usually a product that doesn’t work that claims such things. Particularly one that has “no medical claims are warranted or guaranteed by use of this product” on it. The combination of the two things makes me feel like Loving Joy know this product won’t do what it advertises and are covering their own asses in case someone decides to sue.
Despite the fact that I pretty much despise everything about the design, I will say that the shape of the box is nice; a cube that is friendlier to the environment than a long rectangle as this product doesn’t need it. That is a positive thing, at least.
Each part of the pump came wrapped individually and part of the process of using it was to build it first. Luckily, it comes with a mini manual to let you know how to put it together. This was a good move by Loving Joy since I feel like I would have lost patience trying to put it together by myself.
Some parts of construction were easy, whereas others were frustrating. Screwing the hose into the cup itself made me very annoyed because I had to do it a few times and put more strength into it than I originally thought.
To use the pump, you firmly place it over the desired breast and start squeezing the pump. It will then form a vacuum to your skin and you can pump as many times as you see fit. You can either do it a little bit or you can do it a lot: as I desired to see a result I pumped until my breast filled the cup. The manual that comes with it instructs to only use it for 15 minutes at a time, twice per day. To take it off, you press a button on the pump which lets all the pressure leave and frees your breast.
It was sometimes painful to do this and afterwards my breast felt sore. I assumed this was because it was working and did not think too much of it. I am into pain so to me it just seemed normal as it wasn’t more painful than I can take. As you will see in the next section, perhaps that was a mistake. Another thing that annoyed me was that sometimes the blue rubber ring would come off the cup and be a complete bitch to put back on. Even when I managed to get it back over the plastic it would often not be in the right position and I’d have to keep fiddling with it.
To test the usefulness of this product I only used it on my right breast. This was so I could compare one to the other and see if it made a difference. The good news is that it did indeed make a difference to my breast – the bad news is that it made it worse.
My right breast is now smaller than my left by a moderate amount and it feels entirely different to the touch. While the left one feels full and bouncy, the right one is easier to squeeze and feels more airy. Now, I know that women’s breasts aren’t always the same size or feel the same but it is too timely to be a coincidence.
It was something that even my Daddy noticed, when I asked him to have a feel of them. I didn’t tell him which breast I had used the pump on but from the expression on his face I knew it wasn’t just in my head. He confirmed that one felt better than the other and low and behold it was the pumped one that was worse! This was quite distressing for me actually, since my breasts have always been small for my size (even at my heaviest weight and largest dress size ever I am only a 36B) and it was as though I had ruined one of them forever.
I know that sounds melodramatic but that is pretty much how I felt. I’m obviously feeling a bit better about it now since I’ve come back to reviewing but it really upset me at the time. I felt completely devastated and did not even want to look at the pump, let alone use it again. I couldn’t even bring myself to write this review on it. My feelings on that haven’t changed much 4 months down the line. The size and squeeze difference is still there even now but I have learned to deal with it and move on.
This product is not for me. I hate the box, the pump didn’t work for me (in fact, it made my breast worse) and my confidence dropped from using it. I won’t be using it again, ever. Perhaps this is more my fault than the fault of the pump but I cannot shake my feelings on it and thus will never use any pumps again for fear of a similar outcome.
Other reviewers seem to like the product and don’t report nearly as many problems as I have. I would recommend reading more reviews on it to get a better feel of what it is about than just basing your decision from mine. Not every product works well for every person and this one may work just fine for you.
If you do decide to purchase one then my advice to you is simple: pay very close attention to your breast when it is in the pump. If it hurts, loosen the pressure. Do not assume that is how it is supposed to be, because it may well be a mistake.”
You can buy the Loving Joy Breast Wonder Pump from sextoys.co.uk by clicking the link in the comments.
About SubReiSkyeMOwner of Thoughts of a Growing Sub. I've been blogging for a year now and still loving it! Check my blog for reviews, blogger memes and BDSM talk!
- RT @FemmeReviews: This is the bottom line: survivors shouldn't be forced to relive our trauma to get people to see the magnitude of this pr… 1 day ago
- RT @OperationFilth_: this thread is important. the SA are not the angels they would have you believe. twitter.com/muffinsnmilk/s… 1 day ago
- RT @ThePoke: The colour of UK skies – a reference guide #redsun thepoke.co.uk/2017/10/16/col… https://t.co/QOAYl9Bjgu 1 day ago
- RT @cameronesposito: One more time: the President of the United States said the Vice President wants to hang all queer ppl 1 day ago
- Happy 8th year anniversary of the first time I touched a dick! 😂😂😂 2 days ago